True Life: I get swass

I wasn’t kidding when I said I embarrass myself daily, and here is further proof. This story if so classic and typical of myself, I’m not even phased…

Let me take you back to Friday for a moment. My friends picked me up from the train and drove us straight to the bar for our other friend’s birthday party. I didn’t have time to do my makeup that morning, so I did it in the car. The outing was also unexpected, so I did not plan my outfit accordingly, didn’t even shower, and my hair was in a ponytail. I normally don’t like to admit I feel ugly, because I think it comes across as pathetic – but that night it was the truth. I just wasn’t on my A-game and I was certainly not expecting to attract the opposite sex. But somehow, amazingly, I did. I met a cute guy who actually reciprocated interest IN REAL LIFE, not online! This is what dreams are made of.

Anyways, he asked me to get coffee later in the weekend, which brings me to today, and the actual point of this story. The date was amazing. Conversation was flowing, sparks were flying, and my mind was secretly planning our 1-year anniversary weekend getaway to the Cape. Everything was great, except for one thing. I could feel myself profusely sweating – and not in a normal place like my armpits. Nope. It was my butt. This was an epic case of “swass,” as the kids call it. And of course I was wearing a light blue chambray dress that showed everything. The more I thought about it, the worse it became. Plus, the 85 degree weather and metal chair was not helping anything.

I was absolutely dreading standing up. Do I say something, or play it cool like it’s no big deal? Will he think I peed my pants? Is this how it all ends? My mind was racing, but there was no way to put off the inevitable any longer. As I stood up I realized it was worse than I thought. My dress was so damp that it was fused to the back my thighs. So. Gross. He somehow didn’t seem to notice my panicked attempt to peel the fabric off of my skin. Plus, I was walking next to him so I thought there was a chance his eyes would be spared the awful sight. But as we weaved through the narrowly parked cars, I was forced to go in front of him. There was absolutely no way he could have not seen my disastrous situation.

He never said anything, but he did kiss me! I guess I may never know if he saw my swass, or if he even cared. I asked my cousin if I should be mortified, and she said, “Well, you could be. But what’s the point?”

So I choose to let it go and just laugh about it. And you should totally laugh about it too! It certainly beats the alternative.

P.S. – we’ve already made plans to hang out again! Fingers crossed xo


Embrace the cliche

I know what you’re thinking – here’s another one of those blogs from a twentysomething girl “just trying to find her place in the world.” Been there, done that. But since this does happen to be my current reality, I’m happily embracing the cliche for all it’s worth.

Where to begin? I’m Michela. I’m 23 and my life is full of contradictions. I have a degree in architecture and great job at the Design Center in Boston. I can make my monthly school loan payments with ease, and still have money leftover for new shoes. I’m often overdressed, and wear high heel booties on the daily. I’ve been told I am poised and elegant, and I worship Kate Middleton and Audrey Hepburn. I have 16 years of formal ballet training and 6 years of drawing lessons under my belt. I’ve traveled the world extensively, and experienced other cultures. I appreciate fine dining, and even went to culinary school for a year myself. I’m a city girl through and through. I love the energy, the lights, the tall buildings, and the people. And finally, possibly the most telling piece of information of all, I once took a “what type of dog would you be?” test and got a Standard Poodle.

But somehow, I still live at home in the suburbs with my parents, and my Dad still makes my lunch every morning. Most week nights I am on the couch in my pajamas, eating cereal, and watching the Real Housewives of New York while sending unattractive Snapchats of myself.  I’m awkward and clumsy, despite my deceiving outward appearance. I worry WAY too much about literally everything, and I wear my heart on my sleeve to a fault. I embarrass myself at least once a day. Sometimes I say weird things, or trip over nothing. Have you ever had 1,500 people “boo” you at a pool in Las Vegas for accidentally pushing the waitress into the pool? Didn’t think so. Has your strapless bra ever fallen off while talking with clients? I rest my case. Needless to say, I am single. So, so single. I am the epitome of a hopeless romantic – I believe in true love more than anyone I’ve ever met, even though I’ve never even come close to experiencing it myself. (Rest assured, online dating stories to follow.)

But I’m doing my best. It’s okay to be a little lost right now, because there is so much time left to figure everything out. Sometimes I get nervous and think, oh my gosh – I’m 23. But then I think, oh my gosh – I’m only 23. We’re going to be okay. I like to think I’ve gained some insight through my missteps, and I’ve made some pretty great accomplishments along the way too. I have a great life, countless funny stories, and hopefully it only gets better from here. So stay tuned as I look for an apartment in my beloved Boston, contemplate adult braces, search for that special someone, and try to keep it all together as I take on the next chapter of my life.

As Hannah from Girls once said, “I can’t promise perfection, but I can promise intrigue.”